These are questions that are either frequently asked or are things that I feel that could help long distance couples. Have a read!
How do you do it?
Jordyn: This is the big, popular question! I find that Kekoa and I are really blessed to have such a strong bond and connection early on in our relationship. One aspect we both strive to master is COMMUNICATION. Everyday that we can, we end our day talking to each other, even FaceTiming all night! Another thing we always work on is minimizing any negative activity. We try our hardest to focus on the love that we have and expressing our love. We try to not engage in daily unimportant arguments. Just a lot of showing love and giving support to each other.
Kekoa: Well it sure isn’t an easy thing to do, but i don’t mind doing it at all. Why? Because i love her and i’ll do whatever I possibly can to make this work. Probably the biggest struggle with having a long distance relationship is being able to communicate. Since we live in different time zones and we are both busy people, it’s really hard to talk to each other as much as we would like to, but we do what we gotta do and improvise. We make sure atleast we text each other throughout our day and call each other whenever we have the chance. Usually at the end of the day when we both are done with work and school is when we have time to FaceTime for the rest of our day. Another thing that is difficult for a LDR is I can’t see her whenever I want, which makes it especially hard if I’m feeling down or if we get into an argument I can’t be next to her or be able to comfort her. All you really have are your words to make things better.
What are the struggles that come with having our long distance relationship, specifically a military long distance relationship?
Jordyn: I think just the hardship of not being there physically. Both Kekoa and I have bad days believe it or not, and when those days happen, all we want is each other and just a hug and a kiss on the forehead. As for the military and our relationship in terms of that, visiting each other and the lack of time are the big ones. This year especially, there will be a lot of time where his ship will go out to sea, which limits the weekends we can visit each other. In addition, he only has a certain amount of leave days to take. The time is limited because of his long work hours and just exhaustion on him, which I try my very hardest to be understanding to.
Kekoa: For me, since I’m always out to sea, I can’t talk to her sometimes days at a time and the only way we really communicate is through emails, and the occasional phone calls. Also, since with the military I can’t just take off whenever i want to go home, we don’t get to see each other often. Fortunately though,for me, that’s not too much of a problem and we aim to see each other atleast once a month. Probably the worst thing about it, is that I miss out on a lot of important things that happen in her life. For example, I missed her birthday, prom, and her graduation all due to me being on deployment. During that time, I was feeling down knowing that I wouldn’t be able to share those special days with her and still makes me sad till this day.
What are the benefits of our long distance relationship?
Jordyn: There are so many. What I specifically love is the fact that we can work on ourselves and have lives apart from each other as well. I love love love spending time with him. I also, however, value relationships that are more of a working team than ones who rely on each other for everything. I am currently working on my degree and Kekoa is focusing on work as well as his education. This stage in our lives is crucial, so the focus needs to be devoted to our obligations. This will allow us to also better ourselves as people. Oh! We also value our communication and the time that we have with each other more since it is often limited.
Kekoa: Biggest benefit for this LDR is that we always have something to look forward to. I’m constantly counting down the days till I’ll be able to see her again and I still get that same excitement that I’ve had since our first date together. Whenever we see each other it’s as if we never left, and we pick up right where we left off and thats what I love the most. It’s like we aren’t even in a long distance and we spend those time together like a regular couple. I do feel though, although it might not always be true with other couples, that the distance just makes our love for each other stronger. We know that we don’t have a lot of time with each other, so we make every minute we have count. Also, when we aren’t with each other we try our hardest to make sure that we both still feel like the love is still there.
What makes you want to go on with your long distance relationship with (him/her)?
Jordyn: Kekoa is so patient and understanding. He really tries his hardest to make an effort with our relationship and building our relationship. He loses sleep sometimes to talk to me, he never goes a day or conversation without an ” i love you,” and he most importantly gets me out of my “negative funk” when things get hard. He encourages me and helps me when I need him. I also know that our long distance is only temporary and that what will come in the future will for sure be worth it. He makes it all worth it! I can’t even begin to explain the love that Kekoa gives me. I’ve never felt like this with anyone and I have never been this comfortable with a person in my life. I can share everything with him and he will love me without hesitating. I can’t thank him enough for that.
Kekoa: I love her. I truly, deeply love this girl. There’s nothing more I want, yeah it does get really hard sometimes. Nothing in life worth having comes easy though and this is definitely worth having. The thought of a future together, once I’m out of the military, or even if i stay in and get married. Just the thought of being able to come home to her at the end of the day is enough for to want to go through with the relationship cause i know that day will come.
Ohh and one that has come up recently that people want to know about…
I see the promise ring. Why?
Jordyn: Why not? All jokes aside though, I am so in love with him. From when we started going on dates, before we committed to a relationship, we always would mention and talk about marriage and family. I think we always thought of each other in that way when we started to develop feelings for each other. With this promise ring, we both are basically saying “we are not ready for marriage, but we know for sure that we want to marry each other.” With marriage comes a lot of things that we both want like financial stability, a stronger bond with each other pertaining to faith, educational goals reached or pursued, etc. We are certain on each other, but we also accept that these factors are things we would love to focus on before making the overall commitment. It would only help us with our relationship in the future.
Kekoa: I give her the promise ring because I want her to know that I’m 100% committed to all of this, this is what I want, I want her, and I’m going to prove to her that this is what I want. It’s something to show that I will be faithful through it all and that my loyalty is with her. yeah, some people think that you don’t need a ring to be all those things that I just stated, and they’re right. It’s just something that will all the more give her reassurance that she needs, and always a reminder that I’m in it for the long run.
Okay every one give their love to Kekoa for helping me with this post! He gets MAJOR boyfriend points for this one. I hope this helps all the people in a LDR, especially a military LDR, and gives a little encouragement to you guys that it can work. Other than that, you guys have a great week!